"Everyday holds the possibility of a Miracle."

Thursday, January 5, 2012


An interesting thing happened on the way home from my 33 week ultrasound yesterday.  Everything had gone well and a major milestone was reached in that baby is now 4 lb and 10 oz - bigger then Ethan was at 37 weeks at birth - I was feeling okay but not completely joyous - which has been normal in this process.  As I walked out to my car I was pondering the fact that we are 4 weeks away from our scheduled delivery date of 37 weeks, and realized how far we have come and how close we are.  I began praying as I was driving - asking God for his mercy to rain down on us and this little one for the next four weeks and keep our precious miracle healthy and strong - that things continue to go well.   I found myself repeating this prayer in my anxiety as I was on the way home, when suddenly I was overwhelmed by a lifting of my spirit.  I honestly felt like the big load, that had taken up residence on me after we said "Goodbye" to Ethan, had been physically lifted off my chest, and for a few moments I felt like I could breath and I was overwhelmed with the reality that all really can be okay - that there is more promise and praise in this situation then fear and negativity.  I rode this buoyant thought home and remained very positive for a while, before the reality that things can change very quickly in this medical situation and we still have four weeks to go settled in once again.  Still...I find myself this morning anxious - not from fear - but from hope - hope that our little one will come home this time, sleep in the crib, demand much from mommy, require daddy to walk the floors at night, and be a joy in our family.  I find myself overwhelmed by gratitude - that God has given us the ability to walk this journey and continues to carry us through.  And strangely enough, I find myself overwhelmed by an emotion that has been very absent from myself - peace.